" (This is the traditional stance of the Catholic church.)" This is what my post was dealing with. Nothing more and nothing less! Sorry if you felt it implied anything more. Patty
It is the traditional stance of the Catholic church. . .but no, the rules are never hard and fast. You're right.
Thanks to those who answered my question about quiver full. I would love to have more kids but dh doesn't feel that way. I am on birth control - not the pill - but if this is how dh feels then I want him to have a vasectemy so I can stop screwing with my hormones!! And believe me they do screw with my hormones. I'm fine when I have a regular amount in my system but a couple years ago Hurricane Rita hit and the roads were at a standstill. I could not get to the store to get my perscription. Therefore I had to wait an entire month (another cycle) to begin taking it again. Let me tell you that month was insane!! I was an emotional mess! Once I got to take it again I was fine. I would love to not have to take anything and be normal!
I went on the pill after my 2nd child. There is only 13 mo between my first two. Well, one day I felt this strange pain in my legs and gut instinct told me that it was the pill so I went off of it. When I talked to my mom about it she said that was a wise decision as it can cause phlebitis(sp). I also knew a young woman who was around 25 who had had a stroke that was attributed to the pill. I am rh negative and had two miscarriages after 3 "preemies". I put it like that as the first one was 8 weeks early but the 2nd and 3rd were almost considered term and not nearly as preemie as some of the kids here. When I got pregnant with Joyce it was a miracle but I had several bleeding episodes and one of the nurses told me it was a good thing I had kept up with my rhogam shots because there was a crossover of my blood and Joyce's. I knew that to have another child could be very dangerous for the baby and/or myself. I knew my dh would never agree to the big "V" so I had my tubes tied.
My mom suffered from Phlebitis until the Lord healed her about 9 years ago. Believe me, it was not a good way to live. It got to the point that coming home from school to find a note from my mom saying she was heading to the hospital was no big deal at all. By the time I was 10 (17 years into her illness), she stopped counting hospital stays (not visits, stays). At that point she had reached 120+. She's been legally dead twice. Had more surgeries than I can count. Had an IV drilled into her chest with a little pump she carried everywhere. Lost nearly all circulation in her right hand, to the point that the doctors where mystified as to how she still moved it... and played the piano...lol. I could go on and on, but you get the picture. It was not a fun childhood. This is why I refuse to do any hormone BC. Once I accepted the fact that I'm mortal, too, I realized I was only putting myself in grave danger.
I'm not.. and she's not. We both realize that our lives would have been very different otherwise. We were truly blessed by the outcomes of her illness, if that makes sense. Not that I'd wish it on others, but we can both see how God used those trials to grow us both into the women He wanted us to be.
I am glad this was a learning experience for the both of you. I grew up with a mom who was in the hospital through much of my childhood because she had bad kidneys. I think it was from being so premature at birth. I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy. I remember worrying so much about her. Thankfully we had an angel for a neighbor and a wonderful dad to help us through. Patty
INTERESTING! My mom and dad were both in the hospital a lot! My dad fell and broke his back, and had at least 5 surgeries on it before they wouldn't do any more. He also hurt his knee while in the Army, and had a couple of surgeries on that, before they finally took his kneecap out. My mom had austiomelitis when she was young--not sure it's meaning, but at any rate, she had a bad hip. THey've done 7 or 9 surgeries on her hip. They put in a partial hip joint. something happened to that, so they did it again. Her bones started deteriorating more, so they had to do more surgeries and add rods in. Finally they did a total hip replacement. When she was 29 she had a hysterctomy. A few years after that she has stomach problems, and they went in a removed 2/3 of her stomach! Bad decision, but she didn't know any better. She's had trouble from that off and on ever since! It almost seemed like one or the other of my parents were always in the hospital! My grandma, my dad's mom, was a saint! She was ALWAYS there for us when we needed her, so my brother and sister and I had her for support. She was so patient, and loving, and FUNNY! I LOVED having her there! When my dd was 2 months old, my dad had a major heart attack and ended up being flown to The Portland )Oregon) Veteran's Hospital for a triple bypass. That's only about a 3 hour drive from here, so my dh and I left the boys with family friends and took dd and went and stayed there a few days. And my mom has been rushed to emergency care many times. So it's still on-going! It's interesting how many of us grew up with stuff like that! We also feel we've grown and learned from it!
Well, I was the only child of a single mom, so needless to say life got interesting when she was in the hospital. About the time I turned 10 or 11, it was decided that I could stay home by myself for a week or less. My grandparents really couldn't be bothered. I learned a lot and grew past my friends, iykwim.
I just wanted to thank you all for your opinions on birth control. I was raised in a "quiver full" believing church, and still struggle with what's right. I don't use hormonel (sp?) stuff because of my family history and cannot have my tubes tied for the same reason. Not to start a debate, but part of me wonders if we really have any say in it anyway. I mean, if God really wants us to get pregnant, then we will. Look at Mary Anyway thanks for the opinions.
I have often wondered that myself. I have a friend who has 4 great kids--all of them conceived while she was on the pill. I think if God wants you pregnant, you're going to be pregnant!:lol:
My mom had her tubes cut and tied about three years before she had me. The dr. assumed they had grown back together (rare, but it happens) so after he delivered me he went to do it again, only to find that they were still cut and tied. God can do whatever He wants regardless of medical interventions.
I believe we DO have the choice. First of all, I'm not a "quiver full" person and have always used BC of some kind, except when I was wanting to get PG. I've friends whose beliefs are similar to those stated here. This is their convictions of where God is directing THEM PERSONALLY, not how He is directing every person, or even every Christian. Having said that, people are always going against what God's plan is. As such, if God is calling us to that lifestyle and we chose not to obey, I think we are limiting God's work in our life. Yes, God can bring about children anyway. I truely thought I was expecting again last summer, in spite of precautions. And I had decided that the baby would be named Nathan, which means "Gift of God", because that's how I would have to look at him. While all children are gifts of God, I figured that God REALLY wanted me to have this one, since He chose to give him in spite of our BC. But then it turned out to be pre-menopausal hormones! Carl summed it up best. "Is it possible to be disapointed and relieved at the same time?"
I have TOTALLY had that feeling. We have used bc most of our marriage, because quite simply, there were times we could not afford a child unless I was working, which wasn't going to happen! The first couple of years we had several pregnancy scares (yes, we were SCARED! :lol: ), but I figured that if God wanted us to have a child we would have to trust that he would help us take care of it.
While I certainly believe that it is up to each individual family to decide what is best for them. . .this line of logic fails for me as a Biblical reason to try to control the number of children you have. Yes, God can do whatever He wants. But this is the same line of reasoning that leads people to NOT seek medical intervention when needed, this is the same line of logic that the 'snake preacher' uses. . .God can do whatever he wants. Again, I think each individual family has to make up their own mind regarding birth control and I would not judge another family's leading. . .but I politely disagree :love: with the idea that it's okay to be on birth control and if God wants you to have a child then He'll supercede the birth control. I think a more Biblical viewpoint to be honest, is to prayerfully consider whether or not the Lord wants you to have children irregardless of finances, status or other circumstances. Those circumstances can in fact be used of God to convince you not to have children, but God can supercede any circumstances that He wanted--so they should not automatically be deciding factors. As far as debate. . .I'm sure I'm in trouble now by disagreeing with the status quo. . .but I think that by talking through these issues and hearing others respectfully put opinions, we grow and learn and are challenged. I hope I haven't offended anyone.
This is really probably more what I was trying to say. I certainly was not trying to say that you should just use bc and when God wants you to get pregnant, you will anyway, so if that's how that sounded, I apologize. When we stopped using bc, it was because we felt we might have difficulty getting pregnant (not because of the bc), but I truly was not sure if I was ready to be pregnant yet. I really had to pray a lot and finally just give it up. If we had planned it, ds would have been a year younger than he is now. But we did not, and it worked perfectly.
Oh no don't apologize. . . I just posted because whenever these types of conversations come up. . .I think a lot of people feel like it is fine for them to be on bc b/c afterall, God can supercede the bc if he really wanted them to have a child. I think it's an area that a lot of people struggle through and have a hard time giving completely over to the Lord. I see us as a society that really likes to plan things out which is fine. . .until our plans conflict with God's. LOL And I apologize if I made it seem like you (or really anyone else that posts) doesn't pray to God about fertility. Definitely not my intention either.
