Do your children seem to have friends of one race or another?

Hey I'm a coon@$$!! LOL! I was adopted to a Texas family when I was a baby but born in Louisiana where my birth family was from. My daddy (God rest is soul) would always call me a coon@$$ is a totally joking funny way and I never once considered it negative at all.

 

What is "cajun" the PC term for?

I always assumed I was Cajun, because my family were Acadians who got shipped down to Louisiana during the Expulsion and settled in Mississippi. Isn't that Cajun?

I'm White to American eyes, but in Canada I've been asked a lot if I'm Native. Some of my ancestors probably were, I'm sure. Up here in Canada my son's head of curly dark hair is referred to as a "Franco-fro", but my American father (who had the same hair, before it fell out) used to get asked all the time if he had "black blood".

His reply? "Sure do. I keep it in jars in the back of the fridge!"

But truth is, it's very likely that some of my ancestors in Mississippi were black.

Also, in Ontario we have many different identities for people who would all be "black" in the United States. We've got Somalis and Jamaicans and Haitians. If you're self-identifying as a black Canadian, you're almost certainly American - or at least your ancestors were.

 

My children have no choice but to be with other races. Being in the military you see all different races and mixed marriages. I think this is one of the positives of being in the military we can't be closed minded and be in the miltary.
I can't speak of the schools here because I have never been in them. On our base there's only a elementry school and it has about 80 kids in it. (grades K thru 5th)
They never seem to take notice all they care about is if they wanna go play at the park when school is out or after a sports practice. My youngest is noticing about it but just like the other two, just a natural curiosity about why people are different looking.

 

The military has really made an impact in the fight for racial equality! It's amazing to see how far things have come in just 50 years.

When my grandmother arrived in Japan with her two little girls she was given a gun and told to carry it on her person at all times. The official line was that it was for protection against the Japanese, but "everyone knew" it was really because there was an all-Black "grave digging" unit stationed there. White women, being assumed to be irresistible to Black men, needed to be armed to protect themselves. There was deep suspicion between the Black and White soldiers and their wives.

My mother, however, went to school with black children, and played with them after class. They forged a single identity - they were army brats, from first to last. When the Civil Rights movement started in the Sixties, my mother was right there marching in the front of the parades, along with many of her classmates.

I think the military, in the integrated education of my mother's generation, made a much bigger impact on the progress of racial equality in the US than anyone realizes.

 

That's Cajun, all right, Sweetie! And it's PC for coon@$$". The Cajuns here almost had their identity wiped out a few decades ago, because it was illegal to speak French on campus at school. Now people are scrambling to save the culture... there are French immersion schools in a few places, and the high schools teach French as a foreign language, and such, but they teach Parisian French, not Cajun French, which is still considered a bastardization of the language, although there is now a Cajun dictionary on the shelf at the library. Several years ago, an acquaintance came here from Lyons, to study karate with my instructor for a month. He understood the French here quite well, although he said it sounded "provincial", like from the country, which - of course - it would be. The folks around here, though, kept having to ask him to slow down! so they could understand him.

We understand well the "franco-fro" hair! although I've never heard that term before! My dh's nephew (thoroughly Cajun on both sides of his family) was asked at highschool once whether he was black or white. He is fairly dark complexioned as white folks go, but has that "franco-fro" thing going on, as does his brother who is blond and blue-eyed. He told the kid "You've been in school with me since third grade and you still don't know????? Well, you can keep guessing!!!" and walked away.

Because of the hair, I guess, some WASP-ish people have mistakenly equated Cajun with non-white, like the Creoles (who are French, Spanish, white, and black, and usually speak French or in the country some sort of patois). There's a joke: Thibodeaux was on an airplane going to New York. Sitting across the aisle was one of those WASP-ish people who took offense at sharing space with him. Finally the guy could stand it no longer, stood up and announced, "My name is Brown. B-R-O-W-N, Brown. And I'm white from the top of my head to the tips of my toes." Thibodeaux tried to ignore him, but then he did it again. And yet again. Normally, Thibodeaux was a pretty easy-going fellow, but this proved to be just too much. Finally he stood up and said, "My name is Thibodeaux. I may not be able to spell it, but I'm white from the top of my head to the tips of my toes. Except for my a--h-le, and that's Brown. B-R-O-W-N, Brown!"

I'll take this down if some find it offensive. We think it's pretty funny, though.

 

My husband's uncle (married dh's aunt) is part (don't ask me which part!) Cherokee from Oklahoma. His son married a more-Indian-than-him woman and they had several beautiful children, whom Uncle always referred to affectionately as "my little blanket-@$$ grandkids".

 

Hey, MM! I've PM'd you.

 

Got it Lindina!

 

Lol! Too funny!

Thank you for the clarification, too. I'd never heard that word before, and I rather think I'd get my butt kicked if I ever tried to use it up here. But hey, if I ever hear it when we're visiting down South I'll know what it means! :lol:

 

It is different from when the Amerians had the base here. I met a retired Navy man here. He was here in the early days of the before the town was the way it was now. You didnt dare go off and about in two. Things were not like they were now. Still have some 'old timers' with negitive views on both sides and a few young that have takend their views but it's not that bad. Race isn't our barrier, it'sthe language. That is a whole new thread.

 

The term was originally supposed to be a negative, but where I live, you'll pretty regularly see bumper stickers and license places and such proclaiming the owner of the vehicle to be a "Proud coon@$$".

Hey, do you know what a cajun 7-course meal is?? It's a yard of boudin and a six-pack!

 

I cannot believe that I didn't see this thread earlier. I can't read it all, late to get the boys up already.

We appear to be a middle class white (bread) family...however, in researching geneology we have found that there is a bit of everything....well, not asian as far as we know...but many european/middle eastern some african and some native...some recent some not so much.
I am quite pale...my eldest also...don't tan and we haven't ever felt like that was a good thing. We live in a predominately hispanic area; in first grade she came home and said she just wanted to have brown hair and brown eyes like everybody else. (she is my resessive baby as her father has dark hair and green eyes...and I was a baby blonde...with brown eyes and I thought sure she would have dark curly hair with brown eyes. but no. only the curls.)
The other kids got my hubby's skin (oldest different dad) and tan well even without a tan they are much darker than I...dd complains that in the summer she looks like a tramp because she has such blonde hair and dark tan, so she dyes her hair darker ?? I don't really get that.
youngest has brown eyes...darker hair.
genetics...very interesting.

but race (which I also don't "believe" in...all social construct)
I dated boys/men off all sorts of different backgrounds...most of my difficulties came from cultural differences. I would not date a japanese man whose mother had not been raised in the states...I dated a young man (with very dark skin and a curly curly flattop...this was the 80's) and when there was no "spark" he asked me if it was racial...I said "I hope not." but when he was talking about his family and growing up it was all so different from what I was used to, I just felt we had little in common. I mean dated plenty of guys where there was no spark...coincidence? I think so.
When I was married to first doofus his brother was dating a black woman and I said if they get married that will be great because then they could take dd if something happens to us...and he had a fit (doofus did) and said she wouldn't be welcome in his home and I said, "well, she will in MINE!", but said brother didn't marry her and has been living with a Native MAN for 20 years...hmmmm. one wonders if the "black woman" whom no one actually met, was "softening up" for the man thing??? just pushing your buttons mom, oh is this another?
Same family...two different siblings adopted children. One child, red headed and fair skinned is referred to as your cousin, the other girls who were adopted from vietnam are referred to as your vietnamese cousins. ?? really.
ugh. I was also told I couldn't name my daughter Ivy (from my maiden name Iverson) as it was "too black". double ugh.

 

I think my kids judge people on their actions, not their skin. Race is typically the last thing I "register" with a person. I judge them quite quickly by how they are behaving, what they are saying, their tone, inflections, how they dress, their nails, their haircut (think mullet)...there's a whole slew of things that get processed before race.

That being said - I don't believe I have any friends of another race. I know there is one family of African Americans in our neighborhood - he's on the homeowners board so I've seen him. But this is a very rural neighborhood that doesn't attract minorities. The houses are far apart, my kids don't don't to the school, and there is no reason to mingle with the white lady next door let alone the only black family for 30 miles.

I know immediatly if I am going to like someone personally and the reason I like them is not because of their color - it is because we have things in common.

And to be frank - I'm quite sick of hearing about race. Who cares what race you are? :?: Who cares if your portfolio of friends isn't diverse enough? Life is too short for that stuff.

 

I actually try quite hard not to judge people on dress or hair or tone of voice or anything like that. I try to look beyond that to what they're actually saying and meaning, and *doing*.

The reason why is because I used to judge people on appearance, when I was a youngster, but working retail I quickly discovered that I was all-too-frequently wrong about people.

That man's flat, aggressive tone of voice? His rude way of addressing people? Whoops, turns out he's deaf and can't hear himself speak.

That girl who keeps looking over her shoulder and jumping, like she's really scared of something? She has a neurological disorder and can't help herself.

And the guy with the piercings all over, who only dresses in black with skulls and chains? One of my oldest friends, and one of the most trustworthy people you could ever imagine. He's bonded and licensed security guard, and a genuinely good human being.

I don't need to have anything in common with a person to like them. I just have to be curious about who they are, and be willing to make the effort to find out.

I love talking to people. Even the ones I don't agree with. :love:


P.S. I'd hope you wouldn't reject me on the basis that I bite my nails! :lol:

 

I think I get what Colorado Mom is saying.

I'm not going to judge anyone with tatoos or piercings, I have both.

If I see someone in WalMart with hair in curlers, hot pink leggins two sizes to small and bath slippers with a dirty baby wearing no shoes and a dirty face crying in the basket I'm going to know that is someone I want nothing to do with. Same thing with people too upity. If someone goes to their child's ball game wearing their hooker heals, tight jeans, fake tatas hanging out, face all botoxed up, spray on tan, nails without a chip and don't even watch the game but instead talk to the other women just like her sitting in their little group talking about how they can't believe they have to go to Cobo again when they really wanted to go to Hawaii I am not going to want anything at all to do with that person.

So yes I do judge someone on how they look, how they talk and if we have anything at all in common. And race has nothing to do with it.

 

Note to self: put this person on Ignore list.

 

Oh, I don't know about your first example. I mean, I'd just feel sorry for her - it'd really be awful to be poor and tired and have a small cranky baby, and be so depressed about it all that you can't find the energy to bathe.

I also sometimes have to squash down the urge to grab people and drag them home and say, "Here, have a bath. Have some tea. Eat some good food. Believe me, you'll feel better!" Because I know people sometimes can't find a way out by themselves.

Right now the only people I'm allowed to do that to are my relatives (and some honorary-relatives-not-related-by-blood). But I WANT to do to lots of people. And when I'm an old lady, and I can do what I want, then I will - though I'll do it in a properly organized way, with an officially recognized group, so my husband doesn't panic.

And your second - I honestly don't care about the clothes or the fake ta-tas. I admire the skill it takes to walk in high heels, because gosh knows I never mastered it!

But if I don't like a person's attitude, then yeah, I would definitely avoid them. When my daughter was small she had a very noticeable facial difference, thanks to her birthmark. People commented a lot.

The old man who ran to us telling us that the angels had blessed our daughter - who then pulled open his shirt to show us where the angels had blessed him! - he was a little strange, but very sweet. I was nice to him.

The woman in line at the chip wagon who scowled at us and demanded, "Ugh! What did you DO to your little girl?" Whose response when I told her it was a birthmark was a dismissive, "Yeah, RIGHT!" Her, I was not so nice to. I took my daughter by the hand and led her away saying clearly, "C'mon, hon. That's just a stupid lady. And we don't listen to stupid people!"

She was definitely someone I would avoid, because she was the kind of person who makes up her mind before she even meets you and then doesn't care what you have to say.

 

I would never judge a person by a physical diformity. Ever.

After re-reading my post and then reading yours Meg I think it is the attitude I don't like and not the way people dress. Most of those women I see in places like WalMart all undressed with dirty babies and the women with the fake tatas and hooker heals all have bad attitudes. It is more of how a person acts, what they say, how they treat others and present themselves that matter most to me. For instance a person who treats a waiter poorly and yells at them will get my negative attention for being a crass jerk. A husband who belittles his wife in public and oggles other women in front of her or says things about how hot another woman is to his male buddies I have zero respect for and could never be friends with.

So I guess I set myself straight with how I really feel. lol!

Oh and Steve - very funny! Ha!

 

Oh my, you are describing me. :lol: