Do your children seem to have friends of one race or another?

I agree, 100 percent! It's all about attitude and how I see you treat the people around you.

:love:

P.S. I always appreciated people who didn't judge on the basis of physical difference! I was quite surprised how even family and friends initially assumed my daughter must have a mental disability to go with her birthmark, which made no sense whatsoever. I loved the folks who got to know her first, without prejudging her.

 

Maybe my point is that I have an innate sense of what's "right" to me and it has nothing to do with race. I never said certain things are good or bad (hair, nails, dress) what I said was that I take in these things and form an opinion. I am capable of making decisions about people based on a first impression. Like it or not, that's how the world works. That doesn’t mean that first impression viewpoint stays with me, but everyone makes a first impression judgment. Even if your judgment is that "I won't judge". It is a survival skill. An essential one in my opinion.

And back on topic, my opinion is that having a diverse portfolio of friends isn't a high priority because I don't base my decision to be friends with someone on their race. I base it on how well we get along and how much we have in common.

 

ALL of us make a judgement based on first impressions. The question is whether or not we're willing to adjust that judgement as we get to know that person better.

 

You probably all know that our church is an inner-city mission church. DH does the power point, so he sits up in the balconey along with Phillip (who helps him) and Rachael (who runs the sound board). He also has a walkie-talkie thing that connects with the ushers. Being up there, he can often see things in the congregation that the ushers can't.

So our worship team has a young lady who knows a bit of sign language, and sometimes while she's praising, she'll sign a bit. Last week, there was a young man in the service, never been there before, who seemed to be watching Victory rather intensely, and was kind of mimicking her when she signed. It really made DH uncomfortable, so he kept an eye on him. Turned out the guy was Deaf; once Carl figured that out, he was able to relax!

 

I hope when you say "don't ask which part", you are saying that affectionately. I am VERY PROUD to be PART Cherokee Indian where my family originated from Oklahoma, my great grandfather is 100% Cherokee Indian. Usually when someone refers to "part" they are referring to a percentage like an 1/8th or 1/4th.

I do not take after my family with the dark hair, skin that tans easily and darker eyes. I take after the Irish side, very fair skin, light eyes and hair.

 

Ooh, sorry -- what I meant was that I don't know which or how many of his ancestors were Cherokee! Father's side, mother's side, some on each side, which generation, etc.

When I found my birthmom ten years ago, she told me that her family (again, I'm fuzzy on the details) includes some of both Cherokee and Choctaw. If that's true (very hard to verify because of lack of records - some of her older relatives say it is true, some say it isn't) she shows it more than I do, but I also have straight darkbrown hair and dark eyes, and tan easily. At times, she has been greeted by a stranger (an obviously tribal person) in public social situations as "little sister", but I never have.

 

Cool! Your daughter and I have a couple of things in common...I am a dual American/British citizen who was also raised in GA. The only difference is my father and brother are from Alabama, not my DH....just thought was neat! And I have to agree, Alabama is strange and foreign,:lol:, no offense to anyone from there!

 

Well, my husband is Hispanic, and I am white, so my kids already get that cross-culture from us. That being said, we go to a VERY small church, so right now, there are only about 4 other kids in my children's age ranges, and they are all white. I can't say that I've ever really thought about it before now, though, lol. DS has friends in his K class that are Vietnamese, black, white, etc. Also, he still has friends from Japan, when we lived there who are Asian.

 

I remember this study I read about babies who will look longer at other babies from the same race...something to that effect....what they basically were trying to prove was that we kind of look for similarities, not out of racism, but just out of feeling secure with the familiar.
If your children are exposed to a diverse variety of races,then the other races also start to become familiar, but it also depends on the child himself, who he finds common ground with, and oftentimes they find common ground with someone with a similar background.
I must say, though, that there seems to be more racial awareness (I'll just call it that) amongst white and blacks here than where I grew up (Botswana, and then Surinam and then Holland).

 

I've been to Surinam a couple of times but have not lived there. I learned about the anacondas catching and eating pet dogs, how alligators would get in the house if you leave the door open, and fishing very very quickly so piranhas don't eat your catch! The people seem very pleasant, but it's a very remote place, right? I was told that many pregnant women cross the river to give birth in French Guiana so their children gain European citizenship.

What was it like living there? I was surprised at the mix of ethnicities and that there's virtually no indigenous population.

 

Hmm...lol, CornishSteve, I wonder which Surinam you visited. Still, it amazes me that you went there. Never met anyone who knew where it even was.
Did you go to the capital city, Paramaribo? It sounds like you were more in the villages and remoter parts of the country. I know that they had anacondas, but not in the city, as you might imagine.
I never did go to any villages, but did visit a few of the smaller towns, such as Nickerie and Saramacca.

The population is very very diverse. You know, they talk abt NY being the melting pot, but I thought Surinam was a truer version of that. There arent as many nationalities there as in NY, of course, but the melting, fusing together is more complete. Muslims for example, have a lot of times two names, such as Mohammed John...not something you see every day. Same goes for the other religions. You'd have a Hindu with the last name Khan.

Since we are on the thread of race etc, I think its worth a mention that the people I knew at school were all very accepting of one another's cultures, skin colors, religions, everything. I liked living there as far as that is concerned, there isn't much judgement, if someone knows you're biracial or something, it's pretty common there.
To be honest, the only people who seemed to have an issue with race, or who were oversensitive to racism were the group of blacks who lived in the amazon jungle. In suriname, they call them bush-negroes, which, let me say beforehand, is not considered a derogatory term over there.
During slavery, some of the slaves escaped and started living in the jungle. Over time, they developed whole establishments, self-sustaingin villages, wih their own language and culture. They stand out when they come to town, not so much because of their appearance or clothes, which are different, but because of their attitude. The blacks who live in the towns, and pretty much everyone else seems to regard them as kind of second class citizens, so in retrospect, I suppose there is racism to an extent even in a country like Surinam.

PS: Didnt mean to hijack this thread, sorry! Just got excited that someone, anyone, knew abt a country I had once lived in

 

"ALL of us make a judgement based on first impressions. The question is whether or not we're willing to adjust that judgement as we get to know that person better. "


I loved what you said Jackie.
I love doing my own social experiment. I am an educated woman, speak 3 languages fluently, and have been to more countries than most people I meet. Still, because of the way I dress, (usually wear traditional clothes, because they are comfortable to me), people will sometimes speak to me very slowly, or condescendingly, or even flat out ignore me!

I judge people by how they judge me. Do they immediately assume I'm some illiterate third-world suppressed victim, and treat me as such, or do they wait and see if there is more beneath the cover.

 

I flew into Paramaribo, yes, once via Trinidad and once via Barbados. The airport is such a long way from the city - and the plane arrived at 2am and left at 4am. The executives I met with live in the area, but one of them quite on the edge - which would explain his experiences. (I've also been to Guyana, by the way, but I much preferred Surinam.) One thing I remember is the thousands and thousands of cockroaches and other insects on the paved area in front of the plane terminal - all attracted by the lights. (After all, there are probably no other lights within miles of the airport building.) All passengers had to brave that obstacle.

What really surprised me was the high percentage of people who are ethnically Chinese. I was not expecting it.

 

Haha, I had forgotten about that. The only international airport is a 2 hour drive from paramaribo, with virtually no lights, yes, you are absolutely right. Its been over 10 years I was there, so maybe it's different now.
Yeah, as far as chinese, as our history teacher taught us, after the abolishment of slavery, they had immigrants from India, Indonesia, and China.

Interestingly, a lot of the descendants of Indians there have last names that any geneologist would tell you could not possibly have belonged to their anscestors, since the names belonged to the higher and mostly richer castes In India.
But when the immigrant indians arrived in Suriname, many of them reinvented themselves, taking on names of higher castes, turning over a new, and somewhat fraudulent, new leaf, so to speak

On a side note, New year's Eve is quite the spectacle in Paramaribo thanks to the chinese and their fireworks, which has become a cultural thing now.

What did you think of the Guyanese English

 

My kids are bi-racial (I'm white and DH is black). Due to demographics most of their friends in the neighborhood are black and bi-racial. But they love their friends at our church which is mostly white and Hispanic. My kids have never (from what I can tell) chose their friends because of race. They tend to gravitate towards other kids that are their gender and age with similar interests. Our family is pretty multi-racial and multi-cultural. I'm originally from England and DH was born and raised in the South. He lived in California for several years before returning to GA. My mother is Irish and my father is English, but I have cousins that are mixed with Cuban and white. My mother grew up in Miami, so we go down there quite a bit to visit family there, and I love how well my kids relate to them. We have nephews and nieces of different races and the kids love playing and hanging out with them. I think that we have exposed the kids to as many different cultures as possible, and I think it makes us feel like a true American family.

 

I really don't remember. What I do remember, though, are two things:

1) A wonderful breakfast at the hotel that included plantains and various tropical fruits.

2) The hotel guests all talking about how someone was murdered in their room just a couple of days earlier!

Guyana is not the safest place, it seems. Surinam, on the other hand, seemed just fine.