Ok, my dd is only 8 but will be 9 in January. I was 10 when I started my period. My mother was also 10 and my grandmother was 9, heaven forbid. I want to be prepared because once the moment comes...I am on and I want to know what to say. You see, when I started my period my mother said, " now you can get pregnant." LOL. That was about it. I was scared to death. lol. Just recently she said, "we all do things, some just get caught. I had my fun. Take that anyway you want to." LOL. WHAT! Is she nuts? Oh, and yes she is. Ok, so with a mom (love her dearly, she is a whole bunch of fun) like that, I just don't know what to say to my dd. When should I? I am DREADING this. DREADING this. Did I repeat myself? lol. Seriously, what do I say. I learned from school. lol. That is akin to learning on the street. Which, by the way is how I learned about sex. You know that birds and the bees conversations every mom has with her daughter...Oh you do? I don't. Never got one. So help me! I want to be prepared. I don't mean to sound like an idiot or anything.
Does your daughter ever notice tampon or pad boxes in the house? Ems sees them when we go to the store or under the sink and asks what they are for and I tell her. I am assuming if you left some on the counter or where she could see them she would ask. This would be a perfect time to tell her. My mom never talked about it although I seen female products from time to time. I wish she did. She always treated it as something dirty, not to be talked about. When I started I was embarrassed to tell her. When I did she told me the same thing, "Now you can get pregnant." I was so paranoid. When I kissed a boy for the first time I was positive I was pregnant. This is why I am open with Ems. It is going to happen and as soon as she asks questions, I tell her. I do not want her embarrassed about something that is natural. If she isn't asking questions then maybe you will have to sit her down with a box of pads and ask her if she knows what they are for and take it from there.
Yes you need to have the talk, I'm dreading that, my dd just turned 9, she kind of knows about periods because the girls have seen the tampax machine in the public bathrooms,:roll: and our cat went into heat and I had to explain that but there is a book called "are you there God its me Margret", its about all that stuff. I think it may ease things a bit. I never got the "talk" I had my first period while visiting other realitives and tried to hide it by doing my own laundry so I'm not letting that happen to my girls I want them to be prepared........ thank God my husband gets to talk about the boys about all the other stuff boys go through.:shock:
I let my daughter get on www.beinggirl.com It has helped her to read about things. You can get a freebie box with coupons. I has also helped her to talk to girls who are only a little bit older. We had this talk about 6 months ago because she was starting to notice changes, but didn't tell me about it until I brought it up.
My dd is 9 also, and knows when I have my period, and asks questions about it, so I tell her. She knows WAY more than I did when I started mine! I was 14 when I started, so I'm hoping my dd's waits that long also! But let me tell you, once I started, they were horrible! I got such bad cramps that one dr. had to give me codeine, nothing else even took the edge off! SO I'm praying she starts later, but doesn't have such a bad time! I saw a couple of books, I can't remember the names, but they were for moms and daughters for discussing certain issues like this. It was a Christian book, in a Christian bookstore, so you may want to look for something like that.
First of all, take a DEEP BREATH!!! YOU CAN DO THIS!!! I picked up a packet of three books at CHEO called beautifully made! One book is for Moms (I guess they figure WE need it, lol!) One is to go through BEFORE so the girls are ready, and the third is to go through AFTER it starts. Very good. I also used a book I don't know the name of. It belongs to my Catholic friend. She used it with her girls and lent it to me. Also very good. I will try and find the name of it. Then, last of all, American Girl has a book out that is more for a girl to read on her own. It deals with all the hygiene issues, emotional stuff, etc. One thing I really liked was that it tells the girls not to set standards based on what they see on TV. If they want to know what a REAL woman's body looks like, look at their mom or teacher. THAT'S reality! I took Rachael out to this lodge for the night. We went through the book(s), went out to dinner, pigged out on junk in our hotel room, and watched girl videos. It was good! Faythe is 10; I was telling Carl that I was going to have to take her VERY soon! The doctor told me she would be about a year behind her sister. Rachael is 12, but hasn't started yet.
I read "Are you there God, it's me, Margaret"! It was neat because I then recommended it to Joyce in 5th grade. She is 11 now and showing warning signs but we have had small "talks" starting several years ago as she is the youngest of 4 females in the house and picked up on things from young. Tampax or one of the companies had a pamphlet that I let her read also.
Jackie, how does the doctor know she will be a year behind? I have a twin sister, and she started 2 years (12) before me (14). I hope my girls follow me, but my dd8 is already starting puberty. She has developed WAY more than I had at 8! I was thinking that I needed to have a talk with her soon, too. I'm going to look for those books you mentioned, Jackie. I want to be open with my girls. I never got a s*x talk and very little information about periods. I want my kids to hear it from me, not the world!
Lots of good advice given already. My oldest Dd is 13 and still no period. I was 10, as my mom and sister were. Just to let you know you might have more time. I wouldnt wait based on that, just FYI. My doctor told me most girls get their period two yrs from the time they start to develope. My Dd was a late bloomer and if she gets her period this summer that would be about right, which would make her 14. I've already had the talk with her so she knows what to expect. I also didnt want her to think it was something bad. I explained it as a passage into womenhood and it should be celebrated. I told her when the time came she and I will have a special dinner out to a nice restaurant just the two of us. The Wonder Of Girls is a good book to read.
http://www.generationsofvirtue.org/ I think this may be what Jackie was talking about. The books she mentioned sounded like the ones you can get from this site.
Yep, I just checked. Beautifully Made is on there!!! The set is $18.99 and is great!!! The site is Generations Of Virtue.
Those books look great. Thanks for the link, Crystal! I also love the purity ring on that site that says "I will wait for my beloved." I want to give purity rings to my girls when they are older (I was thinking 13).
Yes, those are the ones I used with Rachael! My girls' birthdays are only a month apart, so I had been taking them together for their checkup. When Faythe was 9 and Rachael 11, I brought them in, and the doctor asked if I had talked with Rachael yet. No, I hadn't, but was planning on our "retreat" that summer. She then examined Faythe, and, noticing a little puffiness around her otherwise flat chest, commented then about her going not too much after her sister. Like Crystal said, she based it on breast development. Rachael's still fairly flat-chested, compared to other girls her age. When I DID buy her a bra, I got it more for her self-esteem, rather than any real need. I need to get one for Faythe fairly soon. Plus Faythe's metabolism is such that she really has a smell about her. I've even noticed it right after she had a shower! I'm trying to get her to use deoderant, but she doesn't remember very well.
Alot of good things already said here. But, I think the most important thing is to open and tell them everything and answer any question they have. Just being there and letting them know you are there is a good thing.
My dd9 needs deodorant, too, but, she also tends to forget. I finally bought a stick just to put in her dance bag, because she was coming out of 2 hours of dance classes reeking! I also found that it helped to let her pick out one that was geared towards the younger crowd with the wacky scents.
My dd's are 11 and 9 and I bought this book by American Girls called: The Care and Keeping of YOU, The Body Book for Girls. I bought it at Target for $8.95. You can also get it online and also at Walmart, Barnes and Noble and even Costco ( the last time I was there it was there). I handed it to each girl and asked them to read it and then we can go over anything they had questions about. It not only addresses puberty, periods and the changes going on with your body but also ance, braces , nutrition, eating disorders, sports safety and sleeping troubles. It is very well written and also stresses that people come in different shapes and sizes. My dd's refer to it alot. The only part they had trouble with was the insertion of a tampon drawing ( the pictures are all cartoon drawing, no real people). Both dd's said they do not want to use tampons because it looked like that would hurt. I have recommended and bought this book for several homeschooling moms to give to their daughters and they said it was a great book and that it was done in a way that their daughters could understand and not feel embarrassed reading with them ( moms). I also bought the American Girls line of books titled: 1.) A smart girl's guide to boys: surviving crushes, staying true to yourself and other love stuff. 2.) A smart girl's guide to manners: the secrets to grace, confidence and being your best. 3.) A smart girl's guide to sticky situations: how to tackle tricky, icky problems and tough times. 4.) A smart girl's guide to money: how to make it, save it and spend it. Each book was only $6.46 at Target. This whole line of American Girl books are just wonderful!! My girls love them and so do I. I hope this helps some. Crystal
I'm glad I've got a boy, dh can have "the talk". But I, too, never got one. The only thing I can remember hearing is that you wait till your married and if you get pregnant while living in this house you'll be moving out, or something along those lines. My mom is the best, it was just always an uncomfortable subject for us to talk about. It still is, really. I was 26 and married, and you can't imagine how nervous I was to tell her I was pregnant. I knew she'd be happy, but part of me didn't want her to know what dh and I had done lol. I guess she figured it out by now. Just be as open as you can, you've been there and know what she's going through, and you're the one she needs to be comfortble with. The books would be a great way to ease in to the subject and generate questions, and hopefully you won't be too tongue tied to answer them! Did I mention that I'm glad I have a boy?
I have a booklet from DOVE called TRUE YOU. It is a guide for mothers and daughters and has lots of topics in it. It came free from DOVE the soap people. My sister saw it online and ordered it for us. You have to print it off and then you can fold it and make it into a little book. I haven't started it with Crystal but you might want to go look at it if you have girls. Okay I just went and typed in dove true you and there is lots of stuff for girls and moms. I didn't go through it and I haven't read this booklet yet. Just flipped through it. So please look this over if you are interested but like I said I haven't checked it out yet myself so I don't know what ages it is for. Beth
Well put!!! This is not only a time in our girls lives when they need information, it is also an emotional time. This is why I really want to do things different then my mom did. Like I said in another post, my mom meant well but she treated it like it was dirty. After I started we never discussed it again. I really want to be sure I am there for Ems emotionally and ready to inform her as well. Although she knows a lot already. Like I said, she asks questions and I answer them. For us it has been a normal discussion every so often. It really helps that she has two older sisters. They are private about the matter in public but around the house Wendy Sunshine would say, "I am going to take a nap, I started my period this morning and I am tired." This usually gots Ems questioning me again.
Thanks, Crystal! Yes, that's the American Girl book! Our pediatrician also reccomended it, covering just about everyhing.
